Men In Love
About this deal
cite the ages of eight and nine as the time of their first masturbation, fantasy, or sexual sensation. and forget her, their friendship and feelings of masculinity somehow reinforced at the woman’s expense. If people could begin to look at their sexual fantasies as easily as they accept their night dreams, we’d all be a lot healthier about our sexual identities. Love and sex are two different things, as long as you keep that in mind as well as an open mind this book is pretty damned good!
It was also disturbing and bewildering to me how the cases of child molestation, and of children having sexual fantasies and having sex with each other, just seemed to be passively accepted by Ms. Her approach is heavily psychoanalytic, relying on the primal conflicts the young boy faces in early life with mother and father for its explanatory power. At birth infants are so undifferentiated that they have the capacity to receive erotic stimulation at every aperture of the body and any area of skin: from either or both sexes; from animals, food, objects, colors, currents of air, gradations of temperature.I didn't find much of anything in the book to be shocking, or even surprising, although not all of it was my cup of tea (or cup of pee in some cases). Now you'd think that being an erotic author, I'd know this and mainly I do, but this book still came as a revelation. She has lost her ability to say no; has been unknowingly frozen into the position of an indulgent mother who allows the boy everything he wants. Based on thousands of candid responses from men ranging from their teens to their sixties, Men in Love - startling and shocking - will change men's deepest feelings about their sexuality and make the women who care about them understand them as never before. I laughed out loud when she said that women are repulsed by M/M, because (she says) a woman is threatened by the idea that a man could want to be with another man rather than with her.
While the focus of these questions relate to fantasies and are not specific to men, she responds to questions frequently asked to sexuality professionals. Another fascinating aspect of fetishistic thinking is the extraordinary amount of detail connected to the object.It tells us how men do love–a stunning insight into the desires that dwell within men’s psyches… and their hearts. Many more holistic views of the woman (rather than assemblage of hot body parts) and scenarios (more than just "she's my secretary/boss" level of setup of the scene) as key parts of fantasies than I'd expected from past things I'd read about men's relationship to porn. The most shocking fantasies were accompanied but what I thought to be fairly superficial comments, if any at all. Besides expecting fantasies that focused on different psychological elements, I also expected there to be a lot about exploring relationship dynamics in the fantasies, but it was almost entirely just about wanting to do the physical act itself, or remembering doing it. She gave them a legitimate arena where they could share their “secret gardens”–the hidden and forbidden but nonetheless real and true.